If you were born in 80’s or early 90’s going back you’ll agree with me that dating has really changed. Sometimes it’s just safe to say that relationship has lost its meaning.
Do you remember how love relationships were real romantic back in the days? A young man would sit down, pick a pen-preferably AIM or Speedo and ‘jot’ a ‘massive’ to his heartthrob in a sister school.
Those days a post office was such a crucial and a mandatory institution. With a colour and flare, the boy in love would use all the jagons on earth to impress the girl whom he would call all sweet names. Those days, Sunday nation or was it Saturday Nation? Can’t remember well, was a MUST READ news paper. Not because of day to day politics or trying to catch up with the current affairs. No, far from it. There was a section dedicated for song lyrics most of which were love songs like; Forever and for always by Shania Twain, Hero by Enrique Iglesias, We belong together by Mariah Carey name it. Boys would ‘Dedics’ these songs on the dedication part of the latter. Some of us would pick a punchline and vibe a girl during those outings and innings.
The letter would be then sprayed with those ‘Nice and lovely’ or ‘Yu for Men’ colognes, get stamped and then ‘Bombasticated’ or ‘Zoomed‘ to the girl. Sometime we would use that photo man who comes to school every Saturday. Now the problem was,sometimes he may come to your school after visiting the sister school, meaning you’ll have to wait for another one week before it reaches your ‘baby’. Sometimes he would have so many letters to deliver to different ‘sister’s’ school that he may forget to deliver yours or do a wrong delivery, though this was very rare. Sometimes the letter would be intercepted by her principle.
Sometimes the term ended before the reply. You would only meet her once, when you went for those Science Congress or during ball games or CU meetings. The best you could get out of it was a shy glances and if you’re lucky enough, a hug; not a kiss, not a dream of having sex! The year would end ‘dry’. At form four, a guy is still chasing that girl he met in form one.
But not any more. Technology and more so, this age of Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram things have totally changed. Today you meet on Facebook and ‘like’ each other, exchange numbers, send each other photos on Whatsapp, plan a lunch out or a drink out meet and go home together and you know what else follows. And after that, relationship is over. Just like that. Everyone is sorted. Everyone seems to be okay with it after role we are living in the era of #YOLO
Photo of Idris and Ellah of Uganda kissing during their time at Big Brother Africa
Now a days youths careless about all those old sentimental romantic unions. Friendship is simply meant for ‘double tap’
It’s usually A seven days affair, at most. The cycle starts on Saturday during concerts and parties where youths meet for fun. These are the equivalent of the old High school ‘funkies’. It starts with a simple selfie and a little vibe. The girl gives her new friend her number and before the day ends, they are exchanging conversations and tens of photos on WhatssApp. The game is on. The next thing you know is that both of you are on each other’s Facebook, Twitter and Instagram space, hanging out together.
On Monday, you open your Facebook page and discover that she liked three of your photos and now there is this hash tag: #MCM(Man Crush Monday) that makes it official that she is interested. If your crush knows that he or she is a crush and you share ‘circles’, the next move will be a response, a tag. Now you’re dating and everyone within your social media circle knows that you two have a thing going on. The guy compliment with a simple punchline: “You make the photo complete” and she replies with a scream: “Aaaawwwww!” This love thing is on.
On Tuesday, you’ve to be tactful. As you chat, remember Wednesday is the new Friday, talking about ladies night. You throw the invite and do a #WCW (Woman Crush Wednesday) on her before posting a cute photo of you and her together on facebook some of which you took during your first meeting on Saturday and some thanks to photo grid.
She is your crush remember. Your friends and hers comment on the photo and everyone seems to like the direction this is taking. And your friends join the game, you keep on liking and commenting too.
Throughout the day you should be looking for another photo of her alone. As you head for the date night at Galitos, probably a Couples Wednesday gig or something, have a photo on the #WWW(Wonderful Woman Wednesday) slot. This has to be done before you meet so as to create the adrenaline rush love feel.
You hit the club together and things are moving very fast. Before the end of the night, you’ve kissed and done it all.
Again Ellah and Idris can be seen in a very compromising state of thing after knowing each other in just a couple of days in BBA
Now come Thursday; who misses out on Throwback Thursday? Now a days a relationship beyond two days is worth a #TBT (Throwback Thursday). You edit those photos you took on Saturday, filter them and give them vintage look. This relationship is old now, right? “Tap that picture….retweet,” you charge. She is now about to exit your love world.
Come Friday morning, you need to chat. You’re in #TGIF(Thank God It’s Friday) mood. Besides, you both know that it is #FF(Freaky Friday) time and both of you are done. It’s time to hung out with your boys. Forget about all those friends who have been helping you to heat things up by reducing the platforms, to just one; like instagram. Besides, up to 90% of your social media friends are just that, just social media friends. You’ve never met before and you completely don’t know each other beyond facebook, twitter or instagram. After reducing the he platform, now it’s time to make sure you let people know that you’re looking forward to Saturday’s event and ” Your schedule is fully booked”.
There is no space for her or him no more. You cut the chatting to regular and very normal, as you look forward to Saturday probably for a new catch. Because the life of ‘selfie love’ starts on Saturday.
I agree we can’t live and die in the past, but I believe we can learn from it big time. Let’s reflect back and borrow something good from it.