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Romance shouldn’t fade after the “honeymoon phase” of a relationship. It should strengthen as your partner becomes an even more important part of your life.

Who even has the time? You mutter to yourself as you read an endless stream of headlines online about romance, dating, chivalry, courtship…many of which, probably written by me over the years.

Whoopsie.

Different types of advice applies to different people in different stages of life, but what about when you need some real, down-to-earth, practical tips on keeping the flame burning in your relationship or marriage over the long haul?

If that’s what you’re looking for, let’s begin.

1: Revisit your love languages together.

If you’re not familiar with Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages, here is the rundown:

  • Physical touch
  • Words of affirmation
  • Acts of service
  • Gift giving
  • Quality time

We all give and receive love in our own unique ways that can often be fit into these categories. It’s always a good idea to talk about your love languages early into a relationship, but as time goes on, it’s easy to lose sight of what exactly your partner craves and desires on a daily basis.

For example, if your love language is quality time, but your partner’s is physical touch, you may think you’re showing an outpouring of love every time you sit down to watch a movie together.

But, if you’re not actually touching your partner, they might not feel the love you’re giving.

It’s easy to see how “speaking” two different languages can cause a divide within a couple that may not be obvious until far down the road when someone finally decides to speak up, potentially blindsiding their partner who didn’t know there was a problem to begin with.

If you’ve not touched on it for awhile (no pun intended), sit and chat about your love languages together. Then, most importantly, make a pledge to communicate your love in the way(s) your partner understands. It would be a useless exercise if you listened to their answers and then never changed anything. Taking action on this is the type of effort that shows real commitment.

2: Plan regular date nights.

This might sound obvious, but executing on it is a different story entirely.

Date nights don’t have to be fancy dinners or big outings, they can be a simple movie-and-takeout night at home together, or a walk to the local live music venue, or anything that you reserve time to do just the two of you.

“Dating” isn’t just for single people, it’s important that we continue to date and court our partner even after we’re already committed. This is the part where many people drop the ball in long term relationships, they assume that they can let off the throttle of effort after a certain amount of time. In reality, the exact opposite is true.

If we stop dating our partner, they can easily feel taken for granted or cast aside even if that’s not our intention. Dates are fun days or evenings that give you the gift of focused alone time together to reconnect, have fun, and remember why you fell in love in the first place.

Choose a time that works for you both and keep it open every week. Plan something new, revisit something old — whatever it is, give your partner the gift of your undivided attention during this time.

3: Spend time APART.

Didn’t see this one coming, did ya?

I have always fully believed in bonds being built through spending quality, focused time together. I also believe that your individual passions and interests are one of the things that drew your partner to you in the first place.

I’ve coached a variety of clients who’ve told me that people seem to lose interest in them after a few months of dating even though they’re devoting all of their time to the relationship…

Therein lies the problem.

When someone is drawn to you, they see the whole package. Your hobbies, your lifestyle, your passions, your side projects. These are the very things that spark attraction in the first place.

They are also the things that light your soul on fire and make you better in all other areas of life.

So — what happens if you actually stop doing these things in order to spend all of your time with your partner?

Both their attraction, and your passions, will fizzle.

Now, let’s say you’ve stayed together despite this. Maybe even for years. If you really take an honest inventory of your life, what are you still doing for yourself?

Are you still playing that guitar? Still painting in the garage? Still going to car shows? Still practicing yoga?

Or, not?

Taking time to do something that you enjoy is not neglecting your partner. In fact, if it will refresh and reignite your soul, it’s something that will benefit both of you and the relationship as a whole.

Plus, nothing is more attractive than seeing someone in their element, loving what they’re doing. Time for that is a win/win.

4: Put “it” in your calendar.

That’s right, I said it.

Schedule your physical intimacy together.

Before you X out of this article, hear me out for a minute. A wide variety of experts (not something I’m claiming to be) recommend that couples in long term relationships or marriages put their intimacy on the schedule. But, why?

If you’re reading this in the first place, you know that life gets busy and overwhelming. You’ve probably also experienced yourself or your partner being too tired, not really feeling like it, or going for stretches of time without getting a little hot-and-heavy. You also know the disconnect you can feel from your partner when this happens.

If there are days on the calendar every week when you know things will heat up, it helps to build anticipation and also to avoid disappointment on the days that it doesn’t happen.

It keeps you consistent and active together, and it also helps address issues if they arise. This way, if scheduled days are missed, it may be a sign that something is really wrong and you need to talk about it.

Find a balance that works for both of your “drives” and implement a schedule that proactively encourages physical connection together.

The longer your relationship, the more valuable this will become.

5: Hug and cuddle.

Physical intimacy has many different forms, and hugging and cuddling are scientifically proven to release oxytocin (otherwise known as the love hormone) in your brain.

Delivering oxytocin through a nasal spray has allowed researchers to observe its effects on behavior.

In 2011, research published in Psychopharmacology foundTrusted Source that intranasal oxytocin improved self-perception in social situations and increased personality traits such as warmth, trust, altruism, and openness.

In 2013, a study published in PNAS suggested that oxytocin may help keep men faithful to their partners, by activating the reward centers in the brain.

In 2014, researchers published findings in the journal Emotion suggestingTrusted Source that people saw facial expression of emotions in others more intensely after receiving oxytocin through a nasal spray.

Less scientifically speaking, hugging and cuddling can make you feel closer to your partner both physically and emotionally.

Instead of sitting on opposite sides of the couch, try holding hands, or laying together, or squishing up close during your next movie night. Sometimes this is all you need to feel reconnected and rejuvenated.

6: Compliment each other more.

Every single day (literally) I do my best to give Rachel a compliment no matter what, even if it’s something as simple as “those pants look great on you.”

When we see someone every day from the groggy morning face to the work-ified professional to the sweatpants’d couch-sitter, it can all seem a bit…mundane.

But, only if we allow it to be.

There’s no reason why you can’t take a few seconds and compliment your partner every single day, even if it’s a text after they leave for work, or at a random time to let them know you’re thinking of them.

It is SO EASY to let the days pass by, or to fall into the trap of “oh, they already know how I feel” and to stop outwardly expressing our thoughts and feelings about each other, but we can’t let that happen.

This is how people begin feeling taken for granted, or unattractive, or unloved. We want (and need) to be told that the things that drew our partner to us in the first place are still working, as well as what else they’ve fallen in love with us for over the years.

Be flattering, be flirty, be open and honest. And, don’t forget #1 when implementing this.

7: Make the boring stuff fun.

I once heard a story about a couple who went on a date to a store. Each was given $3 to go through the store and buy something for the other

Random, cheesy, cute.

Whether it’s a trip to the grocery store, or Target, or the DMV, those are the realities that “real life” is made of. If we can’t find ways to enjoy these little things with the person we’ve chosen as our partner, then what ARE we doing?

Fun and enjoyment can’t be reserved for one or two days a week, or we’ll spend 80% of our life wishing we were doing something else.

Plus, if you can’t have fun with your partner, what’s the point of the relationship in the first place?

8: Set a new goal together.

I’ll be the first to admit that my fitness was badly affected by the pandemic. I stopped going to the gym when they closed, and ordered takeout far too often…

For the past couple of months, though, I’ve been back in the gym pushing harder than ever before, and it’s completely transformed me mentally and physically.

Part of this motivation came from Rachel implementing stricter nutrition and lifestyle choices for herself. Not to mention her six-pack abs next to my keg.

We both decided to embark on this journey together and, while we have different goals, it creates more cohesive lifestyle choices that we both share in.

Continuous self improvement is paramount in a relationship as we both work to get better mentally and physically — but if only one partner is on that journey, it can create a divide as they begin to outgrow the other.

Setting goals together, whatever they may be, gives you something new and exciting to look forward to as you challenge and inspire each other. It brings you both together as a team and creates a new energy and excitement.

Find something that is important to both of you and go after it relentlessly.

9: Show gratitude.

Maybe you’re the one who cooks in the relationship. Maybe you’re the one who cleans, or takes out the trash, or washes the cars, or takes the kids to soccer practice…

Maybe that’s the role that you’ve adopted over the years for one reason or another. You’re better at it, your schedule is more flexible, you offered to take on the responsibility.

Regardless of why, one thing remains certain: People appreciate being appreciated.

No matter how long our partner has been doing something, it’s important that we let them know how much we appreciate it.

Showing your gratitude can come in many different forms (see #1 again), but it must be present for your partner to know that you actually appreciate what they do. It’s easy to go through the motions of the day without acknowledging the little things, but the truth is that they take time and effort, and knowing that this effort is recognized makes people feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

10: Remember that you’re a TEAM.

Many of my opinions have changed over the 10+ years I’ve been writing and coaching on relationships, but one has always remained the same:

The happiest and healthiest couples approach their relationship as a team.

It’s not “me and me,” it’s “we.”

When you’re a “we,” you make decisions together. You have common goals and visions for the future. You support and encourage each other. You lend them your strength in their times of need. You celebrate alongside of them when they win, and comfort them when they lose.

This is how you create and sustain a bond over the long term, but committing to living your life in accordance with it.

The kids, the obligations, the bills, the work, the family life, all of it needs to be given attention, love, and priority. All areas of life are important in their own ways, and it’s also true that all areas of life are affected by the person you choose to spend it

Their positive or negative energy will impact your mood. What they say will linger in your mind. How they make you feel will affect your performance at work and at home.

Choosing the right partner is one of the most important things you’ll ever do.

But, you don’t just choose them one time.

You choose them every single day when you wake up in the morning and live within the reality of that relationship. That is the central foundation of everything else you will do and create.

Relationships are like a fire — you must stoke it consistently if you want it to keep burning. If you do it right, it’ll keep you warm forever.

Nicah the Queen

Kenyan gospel artiste Nicah the Queen now says she does not and has never used her body to ‘invite’ people to church.

She was responding to a video that trended weeks ago in which she was trolled for shaking her backside as she was welcoming people to church.

In the video, many felt she was focusing the video on her curvaceous body and that she was indecently dressed for a church person.

I TRENDED BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE SAID I WAS BADLY DRESSED OTHERS SAID I WAS USING MY BODY TO INVITE PEOPLE TO CHURCH. 

I USED TO GET AFFECTED BUT I DECIDED TO ACCEPT MYSELF FOR WHO I AM (CURVY). 

THERE ARE DAYS YOU FEEL AFRAID TO MAKE STEPS DUE TO THE ATTENTION. 

I DO NOT SHAKE MY DERRIÈRE IT JUST HAPPENS, EVEN IF I STAND UP AND WALK NOW IT WILL HAPPEN.

Nicah has always caused a storm online over her dress mode given that many feel that she wears clothes that are either too revealing or too tight.

According to moral police, she should be wearing derras (pun intended)

Imagine if your day job was entirely made up of performing emotional scenes in front of indifferent crew members so that millions of strangers can later judge your performance. This is why some actors go insane lengths to stay in character. We’ve talked before about some of the craziest things actors have done to prepare for famous roles, but there’s just so much crazy in this well we had to dip back into it. Below is the list of 9 actors who had to to undergo extra-ordinary transformation to to play the act.

1. 50 cent

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In the movie “All Things Fall Apart”, 50 Cent lost 54 pounds in nine weeks after liquid dieting and running on a treadmill 3 hours a day so to play a cancer patient perfectly in the movie.

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2. Christian Bale

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To prepare for a role in “The Machinist”, he lived on just an Apple a day for a length of time and then put on 100 pounds of muscle to play Bruce Wayne in “Batman Begins” He’s like the GOAT of transformations, he has done it countless times.

3. Halle Berry

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In her acting debut “Jungle Fever”, Halle Berry didn’t shower for EIGHT WEEKS to play a crack-cocaine addict.

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4. Heath Ledger

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Heath Ledger spent a month locked in a hotel room to get ready for his role as Joker. He wanted to get in touch with how unpredictable a psychopath could be.

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5. Leonardo Dicaprio

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An avowed vegetarian, ate raw bison, slept in an animal carcass and withstood freezing temperatures to portray frigid frontiersman Hugh Glass in the movie “The Revenant”

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6. James McAvoy

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To prepare for his role as Charles Xavier in Xmen: First Class, James McAvoy shaved his head only to learn that Xavier had a full head of hair In the prequel. He had to wear extensions

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7. Robert De Niro

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To play his beautiful role in “Taxi Driver”, Robert De Niro got a real taxi license and drove people around New York for 12 hours a day

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8. Bryan Cranston

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To play a convincing Walter White in “Breaking Bad”, Bryan Cranston learned how to make meth by the help of DEA.

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9. Jamie Foxx

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To portray the blind musician Ray Charles, he had to glue his eyes shut for up to 14 hours a day during filming. Foxx also lost 30 pounds, as to more accurately convey what Charles’ body looked like after his heroin addiction.

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Image result for vera Sidika

The bootylicious Kenyan socialite Vera Sidika has denied claims that are doing rounds on social media claiming that her real name is Veronica Mung’asia Shikuku Shikwekwe and not Vera Sidika as she is popularly known.

A twitter post by Derek Kinyua @mkderek88 claiming that Shikuku Shikwekwe is the actual name of the former Nairobi Diary star has since gone viral since it was shared last week Thursday

Jacob Otieno Obunga (Otile Brown) and Veronica Mung’asia Shikuku Shikwekwe (Vera Sidika) hamtatusumbua uku online saitaaaaan

In a quick rejoinder, Vera denounced such claims terming them as baseless allegations by her haters who are overworking day and night trying to tarnish her name and reputation. The socialites went ahead to upload her birth certificate to prove her point.

“If y’all must fake my names at least have your facts right… I have such a fancy name that people find it hard to believe it’s my real name. Vera Sidika. My parents knew I was gonna a star. Real names sounding like a stage name,” she posted on her Instagram.

She further demanded respect from online users insisting that being born in Aga Khan back in 1989 isn’t something to joke around with.

“Being born at Aga Khan Hospital in 1989 was a big deal yooo! It was more like a ‘baller baby’ those days.” she adds.

Vera aka Shikwekwe and Mapenzi Hisia hitmaker Otile Brown have been trending for the past few weeks after their on and off relationship took center stage on social media, however, some Netizens think that they are just pulling a publicity stunt.

The controversial  South African socialite cum dancer, Zodwa Wabantu, who is popularly known for dancing without her underwears has once again hit the news headlines, this time doing unthinkable.

The pantyless entertainer recently appeared in an event wearing nothing save for panties and a revealing outfit which flaunted her behind.

However, some South Africans are not amused after photos of her wearing almost nothing, save for a dress that seemed to be running away from her bulging assets as she gyrated to the beat made rounds online.

See the photos below.

Zodwa Wabantu was once deported from Zambia where she was scheduled to perform in what Zambian government authorities described as “bad influence to the youths.”

 

The Real Dan Kasina

The city of Nairobi has turned into another Las Vegas,what happens at night in some night clubs is quite shocking and morally dirty.

Also Read:MOTHER COMMITS SUICIDE AFTER THE VIDEO OFHER FORM 4 LEAVER DAUGHTER BEING FINGER#D AT A NIGHT CLUB GOES VIRAL!!

A River road club called pisces has stood out in fulfilling all the sexual fantasies of their customers.Sources say that they offer live s3x sessions to the revelers on some days.

This can only be described as Sodom and Gomorrah. Check out the shocking video below;

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Harambee Stars Players /Photo Courtersy

After a hard-earned barren draw with Walia Ibex of Ethiopia in AFCON2019, Kenya Harambee Stars sits at the top of Group F.
The point gained takes Kenyan’s tally to four points and needs only three points to qualify for Afcon 2019 which will be played in Cameroon. The match was played at a 60,000 capacity Bahir Dar Stadium, which was full to the rafter

A fully filled Bahir Dar Stadium
Other members of group F are Black Stars of Ghana and the recently banned Sierra Leone. It is still not clear why Sierra Lone was banned from the competition; all we know is what FIFA described as “Government interference.”
With Sierra Lone now out of the equation, Kenya stands a better chance of qualifying for 2019 African Cup of Nations, a tournament they played lastly in 2014. A win on Sunday is all we need to end a 14 year old drough of Continent’s biggest Football Tournament
The return leg will be played on Sunday at Kasarani International Stadium. Ethiopians are expected in the country by Thursday.

This seems to be a good football season for East Africa nations. With Uganda leading Group L with four points and closely followed by Tanzania and Lesotho with 2 points each, there are higher chances of two or three of the East African nations qualifying for AFCON2019.

Meanwhile, a campaign dubbed #JazaStadi, that urges fans to come out in large number on Sunday to give Harambee Stars much needed 12th man support is ongoing on all social media platforms. You can be part of the history-making by joining fellow Kenyans from all walk of lives on Sunday in cheering up our own Harambee Stars as we storm our way to Afcon 2019. See you on Sunday at Kasarani.

migori

Photo Courtesy

An AP officer who oversaw the Migori senatorial by-election was today, Wednesday, 10th 2018 found dead. The Administration police officer was assigned to escort election materials to Migori county IEBC office.

According to the area chief, Mr. Willis Ogwada, the deceased who was posted at Othoro Police Post, was on Tuesday rushed to St. Joseph Omboo Mission Hospital after showing signs of Mental illness.

Accompanied to the hospital by his wife and another Police Officer, the deceased was treated and diagnosed with malaria. He was discharged shortly after treatment.

His wife said that shortly after they returned home from hospital, her husband walked out of the house without telling her where he going to, never to return.

According his wife, her husband never showed any sign of depression and still wondering what could have prompted him to take away his life.

His remains were taken to Migori Level IV mortuary awaiting postmortem.

More story at https://www.kahawatungu.com/2018/10/10/ap-officer-migori-by-election-hangs-self/

 

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Eric Omondi and Jacque Maribe/ photo Courtesy

The sought-after Kenyan comedian Eric Omondi finally shows signs of owning up to the allegations he previously denied of being the father of Jacque Maribe’s four-year-old son, Zahari.

Eric sent social media to a buzz when he shared the photo of embattled Citizen TV anchor Jacque Maribe’s son on his Facebook and Instagram accounts with no caption. He received critics and tinge support in equal measure.

Rumours doing rounds that Eric could be the real father of Zahari, claims that he has, however, refuted insisting that he knows the real father of Zahari but not willing to talk about it now given the situation Jacque is currently undergoing in regards to the murder charges she is facing.

Read Also: Revealed: Eric Omondi is the Father of Jacque Maribe’s son

Back in 2014, Eric Omondi and Jacque Maribe were lover birds before Eric walked out of the relationship after accusing Maribe of being a promiscuous woman who could not keep her thighs tight. However, other sources claim that Eric walked away after discovering that Jacque was pregnant with his bay.

Immediately after posing the uncaptioned photo Zahari touching his mother’s portrait on the wall, netizens flooded his Facebook and Instagram walls with comments full of sadness, pity, and hope. While others were sympathizing with the comedian, others were seriously trolling him why he chose to remain silent at a time when his baby mother seriously needs his moral support.

Jacque Maribe is currently being remanded at Lang’ata Women’s Prison as she waits for her date with the jury.
Here are some reactions from Eric’s fans

 

Couple In Bed

For how long should a sex session last? Any man reading this will definitely relate. It is a question that boggles the mind of many men. Many men of adult age who indulge in sexual activities do believe that, the longer time one lasts on top of a woman (depending on the position though) the more sexually satisfied the woman will be. This, however, still brings us back to the question; how long is long enough?

While we have to recognize that sexual preferences and interests do vary from person to person, how long they would like to last is something many people would agree on.

A recent research done online by sex retailer LoveHoney has revealed the amount of time a man (Mwanaume Kamili) stays on top- and that magic number, ladies and gentlemen, is a whopping 30 minutes! Yes, 30 fucking minutes it is baby. Anything below that, utajua haujui.

The result showed that 40 percent of people interviewed said they would prefer their sex session to last for at least a half an hour. Surprisingly, 24 percent of those interviewed confessed that this was the case in their daily sex routine

However, Majority said that their sex sessions are lasting for 15 minutes and 16 percent of respondents said 10 minutes na wametosheka.

However, how long you last should not worry you much, how good you do it should. Sex expert, Tracey Cox in the recent past said that people should not panic about how long their sex session last.

 Thirty minutes for some people would be excessively short, for others, this might be too long time. If you are both happy with the time you spend having sex, then that is all that matters. Aim is to connect sexually on regular basis- meaning a sexy kissing or some type of foreplay that do not necessarily result into sex, but rather keep the score.

So next time, do not let the pressure of 30 minutes kill you. Take your time, short or long, just do it right, be sure to get it for the next time. Next time if she tells you, “you cum so fast,” let her that she is the one who is too slow.